Laura Staklum, "Journal of Coronavirus of 2020"
Journal of Coronavirus of 2020
Laura Stakelum1
We started hearing rumblings of this, I believe, in January. I had a trip to Thailand scheduled for February 22 and I kept saying I was NOT going to cancel. Thailand isn’t China, it will be fine. But it wasn’t fine. As it got closer to trip time, I made the very difficult decision to cancel my trip. By this time, the words “global pandemic” were being thrown around. I still wasn’t afraid I’d catch it, but I was afraid I’d get quarantined in Asia and I couldn’t have that. I am the Executive Director at Landmark Park, Alabama’ official Museum of Agriculture, and we had events coming up.
I was able to cancel my hotel with no problem. But the airlines charged me a $300 fee to cancel. Then, I had to deposit my Asian money back into my bank account and since the value of Asian currency had gone down (along with the stock market), my deposit was $200 less than it was when I made the order for Asian currency.
I was aggravated and inconvenienced, but I still wasn’t worried. But, things started to cancel. First, schools were closed. Then, restaurants started doing take out orders only. I continued to work, traveling to Montgomery and Mobile for various classes and meetings. While in Montgomery, I asked the legislators what they thought about this. Would it cause the park to close or cancel events? No, they didn’t think so.
But things continued to change. States went on lockdown. Health care facilities stopped allowing guests and more events were canceled. The governor ordered a shutdown of any crowd more than 50 people. So, I had to make the difficult decision to cancel our Spring Farm Day, one of our biggest fundraising events of the year. We decided to keep our classes on schedule and the grounds of the park open. But then, the decree came that no crowds of 10 or more were allowed. So we canceled all our Spring Break Activities, another very costly cancellation. Our summer camp registrations screeched to a halt. We had to cancel proms, field trips, weddings, birthday parties and more. It has been a huge financial hit. Fortunately, the park has been in good financial standing so we are not in danger at this point.
We continued to try to keep our grounds open, disinfecting frequently and closing areas that were close quarters like the planetarium and Drugstore. However, on Friday, March 27, the governor issued another order. All nonessential businesses including museums and tourist attractions must close until April 17.
We quickly canceled everything else we had on the calendar (Tree Workshop, Woodturning Class, Blacksmithing Demo, Dulcimer Lesson, Beekeeping Demo, Rentals) and made arrangements for our grounds keeper to take care of our animals. The staff would come by to check on things but the office would remain closed.
The park was also asked to mobilize people who knew how to sew to make masks for Southeast Health, a local hospital. These masks would be used for patients and the hospital needed 400 per day. Several people signed up to help, including me.
The park will also donate food from our kitchen garden to the food bank to hopefully help the community in that way as well.
Before the closure, we set to work recording educational videos that could be shared on our social media sites to give people something educational and fun to watch. The staff was so emotional during this time. While we laughed at ourselves, we all were afraid for what was to happen next.
Since this all began, here a list of things that have been affected in my life:
Church is closed. Services are broadcast online only. This is during Lent, so it’s a very important time for Catholics. Holy Week services are also canceled. I always play the flute for these services leading up to Easter (also canceled). I asked our priest, Father Gallagher, if anything like this has ever happened and he said no, not in his 50 years of being a priest.
I was planning to do a silent retreat during Holy Week at a retreat house. It was canceled.
Thailand Trip Canceled. After this canceled I thought I’d book a flight to Ireland instead. Waiting to see what will happen before I purchase tickets.
I usually attend a music school in the summer. This year I was hoping to go to California to Lark in the Morning camp. I don’t think that will be able to happen now.
Eufaula Pilgrimage Canceled. I usually dress in period clothing and play the harp for this., it’s a tour of old homes
Tax season has been extended to July
Trip to Birmingham to visit my brother canceled
Beekeeping class canceled
Supplies are hard to get, people are hoarding all kinds of stuff
I order toilet paper online from a company called “who gives a crap”. They build toilets in third world countries so I like to buy from them. They sold out of toilet paper
I have asthma so I cough and wheeze a lot. I have to assure people I’m not sick.
Hand sanitizer sold out. I went to get aloe to make my own and aloe was sold out everywhere. Same with rubbing alcohol and other cleaning supplies.
Work, obviously. We are closed for three weeks. I’ve never not worked for that long.
March 28, 2020
I went to Dothan Nurseries today to pick up some plants. It’s all outdoors and spread out so I felt fine about being there. Then I went to my mom’s house and fixed her toilet for her. We got lunch to go and ate at her house. All restaurants are takeout only. I came home and cleaned my shed, worked in my yard, cleaned up the house. I built a little “cat garden” for my cat with edible grasses and catnip, then in the backyard I created garden for my chickens. I put some cinderblocks on in a square, filled the center in with dirt for their dirt bath, then planted marigolds and other herbs that are healthy for the hens. I also purchased two huge aloe plants so I won’t be at the mercy of the stores. Going to try and order some medicinal herbs and other supplies I use for making soap and cleaning products. Ordered takeout for dinner because I just wasn’t interested in cooking. Plus, I’m afraid restaurants are going to close eventually so I’m saving my ingredients. I am very into DIY, so I feel fine about pretty much whatever have to do without. I have a garden, I collect rainwater, I have chickens, I make my own cleaning and toiletry products. I know how to cook over an open fire or on the grill or dutch oven. I do hope the internet doesn’t go down. That's my biggest vice. If it does, I have more than enough books to read, plus yarn for knitting and lots of instruments to practice. I did make sure to have backups of medicines that I need for myself and my pets.
I have a tendency to get depressed if I don’t stay busy, and it would be very easy to just sit on the sofa and watch Netflix until this is over. But I don’t want to do that. My plans are to work on the paperwork for my annulment, get my yard and house in the order I want it, make masks for the hospital, keep this journal, and do a few work related things like post online and work on grants and planning. I downloaded an art appreciation course from the Museum of Modern Art.
I am going to miss my co workers so much. We’re like a family. They are more to me than just work acquaintances. I care about these people deeply.
Popular things on Netflix right now… Tiger King, a crazy documentary about a zookeeper. I’m watching Aquarius about Charles Manson. I also enjoy old funny sitcoms like Golden Girls, Parks and Recreation, The Office, Thirty Rock, Seinfeld, and Will and Grace.
I do love this time of year. I usually wait until after Easter to plant my garden, but since we don’t have Easter services I figured I’d go ahead.
My plan for tomorrow is to do some more seed-starting, maybe finally get around to building my entertainment unit, and do some sewing. I’m trying to get up the nerve to tape myself playing music and post online like many of my musician friends are doing. Not ready for that just yet though.
** Pets at my house: 16-year-old blind and diabetic rat terrier mix, Lilith; 10-year-old enormous orange cat, Lestat; 15-year-old chilean rose hair tarantula, Priscilla; 1 buff orphingon hen, Daisy; 1 black austrlop hen, Buttercup; 2 white sapphire hens, Opal and Pearl.
March 29, 2020
Today was another beautiful sunny and hot day. It was Sunday, but there were no church services except online, which I didn’t watch. I got up around 8 and fed my dog, cat and 4 hens and gave my dog her insulin shot. I went back to work outside in the yard. I started some seeds for flowers. My friend Jatin came by with a small snake for me to take to work. Jatin stayed just inside the door, didn’t come very far into the house. Then I went to Walmart for a few items. There were several staples that were limited to one per person. Earlier in the month, people started hoarding things like toilet tissue so the stores could not keep it in stock so they had to put limits on. The store was not very crowded but it certainly wasn’t empty. The cashier said whenever people panic the first thing they do is go to Walmart so the store had been really busy for several weeks. I did get a box of hair dye. I haven’t dyed my hair in years and I figured I could dye it tonight and if I hate it, it will fade by the time I go back to work. It took me awhile to find one that was cruelty free. I picked out a shade of black.
I went to Pet Supermarket to get live crickets for the new snake and for my tarantula. They only allowed two customers in the store at one time. Once it was my turn to go in, they had certain spots marked where you could step, making sure no one was getting to close to each other. The employees took your order and brought your supplies to the counter where you could pay.
When I got home I cooked some vegan sausage and fried cornbread. I listened to a podcast called Office Ladies and watched a few more episodes of Aquarius. My coworker Julie came by to get my old vacuum cleaner. She did come in for a bit but we’ve been working around each other all this time we figured we’ve already been exposed to whatever each other has. I did fall asleep in the chair for about 30 minutes. The heat makes me tired but I really love it.
People are all staying home, doing a lot of DIY things, spending time with family, making music, making art, working outside, listing and watching educational things…. I feel like this virus is forcing people to live somewhat the way I like to live. Our neighborhood is doing cute little things for the kids. They had a “bear hunt” where people were encouraged to put teddy bears in their windows so parents could take their kids on a walk and look for bears. They also encouraged people to draw on their driveways with chalk. I’m looking forward to doing that but it’s been so hot outside, I’m waiting for the sun to go down.
Tomorrow I will go to the park and feed the farm animals and educational animals, plus do a few end of month financial things like make a deposit and work on payroll. My coworker Tabitha is going to meet me to help me give the indigo snake his medicine. I am able to give him his shot but can’t give him his oral meds because you have to open his mouth and I can’t figure out how to make a snake open his mouth.
March 30, 2020
Got up around 8 today, fed all my animals and checked on my seedlings. The only thing that has sprouted so far are the moonflowers. When I opened my front door there was a tiny bird sleeping in the wreath on the door. I dyed my hair black last night, I really like it. I haven’t dyed my hair in years so it was fun pretending to be carefree again.
Then, I went to the park and fed the farm animals. We cut some greens for the turtles and rabbit. I gave the snake his shot. Tabitha met me up there and she just got a new puppy so it was fun getting to see it. I had to bring the time cards to our accountant and their lobby was closed. I had to ring the bell and leave the time cards on a table outside. When I got back to my car I saw a woman wearing gloves pick them up and take them inside. I was happy to find out we can continue to pay everyone for now. I am really worried about what would happen if we have to cut back on paying people.
I came home for a while and started some bread. Then, I took it to my mom’s house to bake it. We walked around her neighborhood while we waited and it was such a beautiful day. Lots of people were outside washing their cars, playing with their kids, working in their yards. Several people had drawing uplifting messages with chalk on their driveways. When we got back to her house I drew some mountain laurel (my favorite) in my sketchbook while I waited for the bread to cool.
I headed home shortly after that. I listened to a few episodes of a podcast, watched a little tv and did some work that I brought home to finish. I ordered some stir-fried rice and vegetables from a delivery service. I am betting restaurants are going to have to close at some point so I’m eating out more than I usually do.
I did have a hard time sleeping last night, then once I finally did I dreamed that I had a fever of 107. I guess I am more worried about all this than I realize.
** Animals we have at Landmark Park: Piney woods cows; donkey; flock of Dominique hens; red waddle hog; 4 anoles, 2 cricket colonies; bearded dragon; 2 box turtles; 1 gopher tortoise; 3 sugar gliders; 1 rabbit; 1 eastern indigo snake; 1 grey rat snake; 1 corn snake 1 red eared pond slider; 2 baby turtles; feeder guppies
March 31, 2020
I have to admit, I got pretty bored today. I was going to work in the yard more but it was supposed to rain so I didn’t want to get started on something I couldn’t finish. After I walked the dog and fed my dog, cat and hens, I decided to try my hand at making quiche. I didn’t have a recipe so I asked a friend how she made hers and then I modified it to make it vegetarian. It came out really good! (Premade pie crust, caramelized onions, browned vegan sausage, six eggs whisked with milk, cheese on top). I had to do a few things for work, including figuring out how to write my newspaper column about upcoming park events while the park is closed for three weeks. I tried to write something uplifting about how we can come together as a community. I edited a lot of educational videos that I then shared on the park’s social media. People seemed to like them. I have been saying for years I needed to take the time to learn how to edit video and today I finally had the chance.
It did rain and my poor blind dog got really scared when she heard the thunder. My hens, however, seemed to enjoy playing in the rain. The cat slept through the whole thing. While it was raining I got up the nerve to work on my annulment paperwork, but stopped when I had to text my ex-husband to ask if he would cooperate and he didn’t give me a definitive answer. This is a hard subject for me, so I decided to stop and revisit it in a few days.
A tornado touched down in Eufaula so I checked in with one of my staff members who has family there. Fortunately, everyone was ok. I spoke with several staff members and friends today. I think everyone was getting antsy. I took my mom to the park when it was time to feed the animals so she got to see the animals as well as get a sneak peek of the new exhibit going up in the museum. After that we picked up some fried catfish for dinner.
I watched a bunch of episodes of Aquarius and The Office and Will and Grace while I was editing video. I listened to a few episodes of the Office Ladies podcast. Last night, I was reading a book about the Charlies Manson crimes (I enjoy reading about how he had control over those people) and I accidentally caught a glimpse of some crime scene photos… I can’t handle anything that graphic. So, now I’m reading a book called Hippie Food, which is about how sprouts, brown rice and tofu made its way into the mainstream. I love hippie food so I’m enjoying the book so far.
It is supposed to be very cold tonight, so I moved all my plants and seedlings inside. Lestat the cat was so happy. One of the plants I brought inside was a pot of catnip. He is currently rubbing his face on it and nibbling the leaves.
I still was anxious when it was time to go to sleep last night, and I dreamed that I made friends with my ex-husband's new wife and that I was dating Usher. Tonight I’m taking my CBD oil. I’m sick of not sleeping well. Tomorrow I’m planning to go to the park in the morning with a few coworkers. We need to plant corn, make some videos in the drugstore, I have some end of the month financial things to do and some membership to process. There will also be some work going on in the museum. I’m actually looking forward to going, I don’t like sitting idle.
April 1
I can’t believe March is already over. This has been the strangest year. I was excited to get up and go to work this morning. I did some end of the month financial reporting, videotaped a spot about the drugstore, fed all the animals, then the other staff members and I moved a table outside and ate lunch together. It was another beautiful day. I am so lucky to work with people who are like a family. After I finished there I came home and did some more video editing. For dinner I just ate a bunch of snack food. Just didn’t’ feel like cooking, and now I’m really tired. The CBD oil is helping me sleep, but I have such weird dreams. Last night, I dreamed I was at Kat Von D’s house and she fed me a steak…which is ridiculous because we’re both vegetarians. I guess that Hippie Food book is getting into my brain. So that was about it for today. I was busy and got a lot done. We are supposed to reopen on April 17 but there are rumblings that we may have to stay closed until the end of April. If this happens we will have to cancel another special event. It just keeps getting worse and worse financially for us. I’m sure everyone else is feeling the same way. Some businesses are getting fines for staying open after the order to close. Even if that wasn’t true, I’m glad we did what we did. I wouldn’t want to encourage people to come to the park when the government is stressing how important it is to stay home.
April 2
I am exhausted tonight. My dog got me up early this morning wanting to walk. Did my usual outside tasks… cleaned the chicken coop, checked on my seedlings (still no sprouts), etc. I’ve been wanting to draw on my driveway with chalk so I headed outside. My neighbor saw me doing it and asked if his grandkids could join us. So, the kids drew while the adults talked. It was actually pretty nice. We stayed outside doing that for a pretty long time, it was such a nice day. Then, my mom came over and we put together an entertainment center I bought a long time ago. It took forever and I was ready to pull my hair out by the time it was over. My coworker came over to get the box I set up for a cricket colony for our animals at work. After we finally finished everything it was time for dinner so I ate some leftover quiche and homemade bread. I spoke with another coworker on the phone and she wants to bring me an olive egger hen that lays green eggs. I hope my other girls are nice to her.
On the job front, we did some paperwork to get some money from the federal government for payroll. If we pay salaries for everyone as planned, the government will give us that credit on our payroll taxes later in the year. I’m so glad no one is having to go without just yet. I feel a lot of responsibility for my staff.
Tomorrow I will go to the park to give the snake his shot, feed and clean up everyone, and help work the beehives. I’m going to do some research on grants to see if there are any other relief programs for nonprofits who have lost money during this closure. There are rumblings now that the governor is going to make a mandatory stay at home order. Personally, I would be fine with that if it meant we could get back to normal sooner. I guess we’ll see.
April 4
I was so tired yesterday I forgot to write. I had the best day yesterday. I got to help the beekeepers inspect the park’s hives. I’ve always wanted to learn about beekeeping and I finally got to! It was absolutely fascinating. I was at the park all day and by the time I left at 3 pm I was starting so I stopped at Jacks and ate a BLT… first bacon in about 2 years. I had some really weird dreams last night. I dreamed there was a huge snapping turtle living under a shelf in my bedroom. I asked my dad to move it and he said no. Then, there was some sort of game of thrones type thing going on, and I had some sort of emotional breakdown where I stopped speaking to anyone. I woke up thinking of the mantra LOKAH SAMASTAH SUKHINO BHAVANTU. Not sure what to make of any of that. I finished watching that show called Tiger King on Netflix, and I read a lot of Tex Watson’s book from the 1970s.
By the time I got home from the beekeeping yesterday, the governor announced a mandatory shelter in place order starting today at 5 p.m. So, today I got up, went to the park to take care of some odds and ends, got crickets for Priscilla (they only let one person in the store at a time, they brought what you wanted to the cash register. No one could go in the store), found toilet paper (you could only buy 2 packs), went to get chicken feed and then to get more CBD pills. I came home and planted water lilies in my water garden. A couple of friends stopped by to pick up honey and eggs (6 ft away). Tomorrow, it is Palm Sunday. But there will be no services, only online. Usually I am so excited for Holy Week. I play the flute for every service they have. Also today, I was supposed to be in Eufaula playing harp for their tour of homes. I’m very lucky that I’m not sick or in need, but I am sad to miss so many fun things.
April 6
Yesterday was Palm Sunday. No matter where I am, I have always attended Holy Week services. It upset me more than I thought it would to not have that yesterday. My anxiety seems to be getting the best of me. Four years ago, my father died on the Tuesday of Holy Week. Even though the dates don’t line up, it is heavy on my mind.
Yesterday, after cleaning my house from top to bottom, I recorded myself playing some traditional Holy Week hymns on the harp and my mom talked me into posting them on social media. People seemed to like them but it feels braggy. But, if it’s really a ministry I guess I need to keep doing it. At least my face isn’t really showing in the videos.
My coworker’s mother died two days ago and there will be no services or anything for her (not COVID-19 related). Another friend in Pennsylvania has COVID-19 but she seems to be doing ok. One of the elected officials lost his sister to COVID-19. Death seems to be all around. It’s hard not to be affected by it. Yesterday, I posted on our neighborhood message board that some neighborhoods are coloring pictures of eggs and putting them in their windows for kids to have an egg hunt on Easter. Most people were receptive, but one woman snapped at me because she needs ink for her printer but is not going to go shopping. I would usually have replied with a snarky comment but I know tensions are high right now.
Today, I have to go to the office for a bit and also write my newspaper column. Since my column is supposed to be about park happenings but the park isn’t open right now, I’m not sure what to write. I’m thinking about writing about my beekeeping experience the other day. As I write this, I’m watching a recording of “An American in Paris” and uploading a video for the park’s social media pages. I’ve always wanted to travel to Paris. I think I was born in the wrong decade. I also listened to a few episodes of The Paranormal Podcast. I got a sandwich from the only vegan restaurant in town. Tomorrow, if it’s hot outside, I will blow up my little wading pool and get in it.
I dreamed of an old love last night. I guess some people will always be in your heart.
April 7, 2020
I had a very restless night again last night. I woke up at 2 a.m. and texted my friend who lives in Thailand (it was 2 p.m. the next day there). She said they are on stay-at-home orders as well. She and her husband are both teachers so they are trying to do online school for their classes, plus homeschool their own kids. She said they have a curfew in place, and the government there is trying to blame the spread on European tourists… I guess xenophobia is everywhere right now.
I didn’t do much today. Just my usual chores, and I taped another video of me playing the harp. I also watched some true crime shows while a sewed a lining for a basket I’ll use for collecting eggs. I also walked pretty far around my neighborhood with my mom. I cooked some chickpea soup today, and then I ordered some vegetables from a country cooking place.
Tomorrow, I will go to the park to do some video editing. I also want to clean the rabbit cage a do a few other things. That way I can focus on beekeeping on Friday. I wish I could do something about my anxiety, it’s worse than usual. I know it’s because of what’s going on, plus I don’t do well without a schedule. I am also secretly afraid life will never go back to normal.
April 8, 2020
Everyone seems to be very anxious lately, we all are afraid that this is going to last forever. I personally can’t imagine how the economy will recover. I’m really sad about work. We are ok financially but we had such good momentum last year and now I’m afraid we are going to lose it completely. I went in to work today to take care of a few things but had some insane computer issues so didn’t get to do any video editing. I’ll go back tomorrow to work on that. I did start working on masks for the hospital today. The first one was difficult but I think they will get easier and easier. I am hand sewing them because I don’t like to use my sewing machine. My beehive stuff came in the mail today. I will work on putting them together but I’m not sure if I can get them together in time to have bees this season. I made another harp video today. I don’t know if people really care about this stuff but I’m committed to doing one a day for Holy Week. Today is Wednesday. I was planning to go to a convent for a silent retreat tonight but that got canceled, along with all the church services. I’m not the most devout person but I love Holy Week. I feel such a loss not being able to participate this year. I may make a fire in my fire-pit on Saturday since we won’t have a vigil service. My mom is planning to come over for Easter lunch. We’re both vegetarians so I’m going to cook lentils and rice, tomato and basil salad, baked feta and olives and roasted red pepper hummus and a berry cobbler.
I started watching some goofy show called CougarTown while I sewed masks. I also listened to a bunch of podcasts by Bishop Robert Barron.
April 9, 2020
Well, I got up today intending to go to work, but I stepped on a rusty nail while gathering eggs in my backyard. Plus, I had an asthma attack last night and woke up with the start of a migraine, so I’m staying home. I spoke with my friend in Thailand and she said Bangkok is banning the sale of alcohol from April 10-20 because there is a big festival there during that time and the government wants to discourage any kind of gathering. I have another friend who lives in Japan, about an hour away from Tokyo. I have messaged her to see what is going on there.
(** when I mention friends from Thailand, they are originally from Dothan. They are a couple who I knew in high school who went on to get married and move around the world teaching at international schools. They live about an hour away from Bangkok. My friends from Japan are a girl who was my exchange student when I was 15. She loved America so much that she moved to Alabama and married a man from Brewton. They now live in Huntsville. Her sister is slightly older than me and she still lives in Japan. I talk to both of them frequently.**)
I think today I will work on more masks, maybe do a little video editing, order some groceries for Easter dinner, and possibly take a look at my beehive kits that came in today. I don’t think I’m really up for too much heavy lifting today. I’ve downloaded another podcast, this one is about herbalism and I’ll probably listen to a few episodes of that. Just not feeling great. Maybe because of my migraine medicine. Right now I’m watching a documentary about Boudicca. So today will probably be a pretty boring day. Hopefully I’ll feel more like myself tomorrow. I want to go in and see the beekeeping again tomorrow.
April 10, 2020
Today started with a text from a musician friend asking me to identify a flower. After talking for a bit, he convinced me to post some videos of my harp playing on my public Facebook page. I had been posting them to the church page which is a much smaller audience. It actually turned out ok, people seemed to like them and one of my dear friends who is an atheist even shared them on her page—even though they were very religious oriented and I talked about Holy Week.
I went into the office today, I fed all the farm animals, education animals and the snakes. I also had to give one of the snakes his shot for a respiratory infection. I cut quite a few fresh greens for both the animals and for me, and I took home the eggs from the park chickens. I did some paperwork and another coworker was there to help me. When we finished, I headed to the apiary and got to spend a few hours with a beekeeper. I have decided that there is nothing I’ve ever studied that is more interesting than a honeybee hive. Absolutely fascinating. I may not get my bees this year but this is for sure a hobby that I am into.
After I got home I sewed more masks for the hospital and the more I do the easier they get. My dog was a little sick and when she’s sick she moves blankets around the house. So when I got home, all the blankets and bathmats were in the wrong place. She seems fine now. She turns 16 in a few days. She is blind and has diabetes and sometimes I think she has dementia but she’ll always be my baby. I also went by a friend's house and picked up some herbs and I planted them in an old wagon wheel to make a circular herb garden. None of my seeds have sprouted. I have grown gardens from seed for YEARS and I’ve never had this happen. I’ve tried to start almost 200 seeds this year and not one single sprout. Not sure what’s going on.
I am not planning to go in to work tomorrow since I got everything done today that I needed to finish. Tomorrow I am planning to work on my hives. I need to build a second box and then paint the whole thing. I may touch up the paint on my chicken coop while I’m at it. I’ll also continue to sew masks. I was going to make one for myself but I have a friend in New Orleans who is a performer and she’s lost all her gigs due to this virus, so she’s sewing masks and selling them. She is a fabulous seamstress and had some really cool fabrics so I bought a mask for myself and one for my mom.
Sunday, I will cook Easter dinner. Mediterranean/ Middle Eastern vegetarian food with berry cobbler for dessert. My mom may spend the night Sunday because the weather may be bad and she gets scared. I also need to order a gift for my brother for his birthday, do something for a coworker whose mom passed away, and get started on some of the online herbalism courses I’ve downloaded. ‘
April 11, 2020
Today was actually a pretty nice day. The weather was so nice. I did a little housecleaning and worked on my masks, then I went outside and my mom and I worked on my beehives. I also repainted my chicken coop white and painted my shed door blue… blue doors always remind me of Santorini. Then, my mom and I ordered pizza and we watched my harp teachers from Ireland play a concert live online.
I did get my brother a birthday gift, I got him an online masterclass with David Sedaris on writing. And I made a donation to a charity in honor of my coworker’s mother who passed away.
It still feels weird to not be at church during Holy Week. Tonight is the longest service of the year. I could watch it online but I’m afraid it will make me too emotional. I usually play music, plus my dad always lit the Easter fire and ever since he died I can’t keep it together on Easter vigil.
Tomorrow I will be cooking a nice, vegetarian, Middle Eastern meal in honor of Jesus. Mujudrah, hummus, baked feta with olives, homemade pita bread, tomato and basil salad, roasted asparagus and berry cobbler for dessert. My favorite type of menu. I love to cook.
April 13, 2020
I didn’t have a chance to write yesterday because I was with my mom all day. She came over for Easter lunch and wound up spending the night because it was going to storm and she gets scared. We watched a documentary about Silicon Valley corruption, and a few episodes of The Office. Then, the Jesus Christ Superstar version with John Legend was on. I am obsessed with that so we watched it and I sang along to every word. I made my mom take a CBD oil to help her sleep, and it worked until about 3 a.m. when the weather was really bad. She and my dog were huddled around her cell phone listening to the weather report, scared. So I didn’t go in to work today because I was exhausted and I had a few limbs I needed to clean up. I finished repainting my chicken coop and worked on more masks.
I ordered a mask from a friend and it came in today. When I put it on, I felt like I was in the handmaid’s tale. I don’t like it at all. Feels way too much like the dystopian/post-apocalyptic books I like to read. I’ve also started to notice people complaining about the shelter-in-place orders. It really seemed to piss people off that they couldn’t go to church. I understand that, as I missed church too, but it’s a matter of public health, not loss of liberty. Still, it’s a weird time.
I emailed an old friend from Mobile to see how he feels about all this mess and he wrote back: “Henry David Thoreau said, ‘Beware of any enterprise that requires the purchase of new clothes.’ I think he would include PPE masks.” I really miss that guy. He’s the only other person I know who references books as much as I do.
Will have to go in to work tomorrow since I missed today. There are a lot of grants open right now but I’m afraid to commit to any new projects until I know more about what’s going to happen. But I’m going to have to at least give them a try if I want to get any of them. Will think hard about that tomorrow.
April 15, 2020
I am not even sure what day it is. This quarantine is starting to get to me. I don’t think I wrote yesterday. Yesterday I went to work at the park. I fed everyone, gave the snake his shot and took care of some paperwork. I had lunch with some of my coworkers, we ordered from Todd’s. I had broccoli salad and pimento cheese. When I got home, I noticed one of my hens was isolating and didn’t run for her treats like the others did. I believe she has vent gleet, which is essentially a yeast infection. Who knew? So, I gave her a bath and let her sleep inside in a giant dog crate just to make sure she was ok. She’s eating better today. I got them some canned pumpkin (Natural wormer) and some plain greek yogurt (probiotic). All the hens ate it except the one who needed it, of course. But she seems to be feeling better.
Today I worked from home. I worked on grants and then back to work on my beehives. One is completely done, the other just needs to be painted. Next I’ll need to order some medium supers. On Friday I’ll be working with the beekeepers again. They’ll be bringing a swarm so I’ll get to see how that works.
Tomorrow I’ll probably go into the park. I need to finish up a grant and check on some quotes for another I plan to apply for. It’s hard to do this because I don’t know what the future holds with all this craziness. I brought some eggs to my neighbor today. I gave her son a really big one that probably has two yolks. He was really excited. It was cute.
April 20, 2020
Oops, I completely forgot to write for the past few days. Not much to report. On April 17 I went to work and cleaned all the animal enclosures. I was supposed to do some training with a beekeeper but he had to cancel. I must have worked pretty hard because I was completely exhausted when I got home. I ate a beyond meat burger from Hardees and then went to bed pretty early. On April 18, it was my brother’s birthday. My mom and I tried to ZOOM with him but we could never make the timing work right. On the 19th, I took an online Native American flute class. Then, my mom spent the night again because there were more bad storms. We, fortunately, didn’t have any damage. But some friends in Henry County were not so lucky. Because we were up late sitting in the hallway waiting for the tornado to pass, I was exhausted again today so I worked from home. I tried to help my mom play her dulcimer and it was really fun playing harmonies. We went to Home Depot for a couple of things today, then I came home and worked on a couple of grants and other things for the park. Listened to a podcast about Seinfeld and cleaned the house. One of my hens still seems to be not feeling great. My beekeeper friends have encouraged me to wait until next season to get bees which is actually good because it will give me a chance to work on the hives more.
A couple of days ago, the government started talking about when things will reopen and people got all excited thinking it would happen immediately. Then, there were protests in some parts of the country because people say their liberties are being infringed upon because businesses are closed. Personally, I’d rather stay home until the threat has been contained. But people are going to complain about anything. Some are saying not enough was done to contain this thing, others are saying the plan of action is too much. Which one is it? I guess no one knows and people are just frustrated.
I’m planning to go in tomorrow to work with the Master Gardeners on the plans for the kitchen garden. The other day when they were at the park I surprised them with a platter of homemade fried cornbread. I may do that again, they really seemed to appreciate it.
I really can’t get over how fortunate I have been through all this. I have a home, entertainment, food, delivery, I’m still getting a paycheck, I’m not sick…. I wish I could do more to help others. But all I know to do is follow the rules and help sew these masks for the hospital (and get others to do that too). I’ve been trying to support other artists who are struggling through this by taking their online classes, donating to their online concerts, etc. It’s such an uncertain time and I can’t imagine how we will ever go back to normal. How will they know it’s safe to stop quarantining?
April 22, 2020
Not much new to report. Went to work yesterday and today. Turned my masks in to the hospital. My mom is spending the night again because it’s supposed to storm again. I got to work with the bees at work again today. Worked in my yard, cooked dinner for us… I’m not planning to go to work tomorrow, will probably just work from home on some paperwork and then work on more masks.
April 23, 2020
It rained so hard all day today. My mom spent the night because she gets scared during bad weather. I cooked for us, we played some of the instruments in my music room, we watched reruns of the Golden Girls, I worked on masks. Not an exciting day but a good one. We didn’t have any damage, thank goodness. I spoke to a friend who lost his home, truck and a lot of his office in the last tornado we had. He is the Henry County historian, in his 80s, I can’t imagine how hard this must be for him. I wish I could do something to help. I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m still having a hard time processing all this. I don’t know how they will know when it’s safe to go back to work. I don’t feel like I can promote any events or even really plan any events until we know more. I feel a huge responsibility to my staff.
April 25, 2020
Another day, more of the same. I went to work yesterday and aside from the usual tasks I edited a video about the history of the Old Judah Cemetery in Dale County, Alabama. It was pretty interesting. I’ve been saying I wanted to learn how to edit video for years so I'm glad I’ve finally taken the time.
I got a letter yesterday from a man who is in prison at Frank Lee in Deatsville, Alabama. I work with the prison ministry through my church and he is one of my… clients? Mentees? Anyway, They have also been under quarantine. They can’t go to work and certain activities are even more limited than they already were. More than anything he is worried about the outside world. He sees and reads news but doesn’t have much contact with the outside world so he gets worried. I’m thinking of maybe sending him a copy of this log when this is all over. He might enjoy it.
I have been trying to keep busy and productive but today it’s sort of getting to me. I’m washing and patching up some of the quilts in my collection that need a little attention. I’ve also re seasoned some of my old cast iron pots. So life at my house is sort of like traveling back in time. I purchased a collection of classical music on vinyl yesterday… 100 records! I’m trying to figure out a way to work my vinyl collection into my music room. My collection is not new vinyl. It’s all stuff that I inherited from my grandfather and my parents, plus a few old pieces that I’ve found over the years. I have no interest in hearing new music on vinyl. But I love hearing music from the 1930s-1970s on vinyl because to me that is more authentic. Plus, the little dust pops make you feel warm and cozy inside. I can’t really get into hearing that on digitally overproduced music. Don’t get me wrong, I like current music just fine. I’d just rather hear it on what it’s made for today. Just another one of my endless supply of quirks.
Usually on weekends when I didn’t have to go to work, I would work around the house a bit, then go shopping either by myself or with my mom. Then on Saturday nights I usually go for dinner and drinks with my girlfriends. We would also wander aimlessly around the craft store or book store. I am really missing that. I do love the company of my animals and even my own company, I have a tendency to be a bit reclusive. But this is getting boring. I don’t want to complain, again, I am so incredibly fortunate in so many ways. But it’s normal to get a little stir crazy I think.
Update on couple of things. Earlier in this log I said that the place where I order toilet paper was sold out (it’s a special, environmentally friendly toilet paper company called Who Gives A Crap). I finally got an order in yesterday. I also mentioned earlier that I couldn’t find hand sanitizer, I believe. I was able to find some as well as some hand wipes the other day for the first time. Another music camp I love in North Carolina (the Swannanoa Gathering) has canceled their entire year for 2020.
I had a dream last night about the old house I grew up in. I dreamed that it had an ocean view and I was very upset by the changes the new family and made. I went to get in the car to leave and my deceased father was in the driver's seat. I think it’s a testament to how good I had it growing up and I didn’t even know it.
In national news, yesterday the president made some sort of comment about ingesting disinfectant. I’m SURE he didn’t mean it the way it came out, but it came out pretty crazily. People rushed to both ridicule him for his insane statement and defend him for something taken out of context. People have lost their minds, from the top down. I also read that a labradoodle breeder has been named to lead the pandemic task force. It’s gotten to where I can’t tell the difference between a joke headline and a real headline. Conspiracy theorists are saying the government is imposing this quarantine on us for reasons I don’t really understand. They’re also saying Bill Gates is somehow involved, and maybe something about cell phone towers? I may have to break out the tinfoil hat and do a little research on that one later. What I can say for sure, people are restless. I do not envy the people who have to decide what to do. They’re screwed no matter what happens. People want to be mad, and they’re going to be mad. Give me my quilts, records and cast iron over this insanity any day. Maybe I’m not itching to go out after all. It’s too crazy out there.
April 26, 2020
Everything is still so uncertain. The last governor’s order said we could reopen after April 30, which is Thursday. But now they’re saying the quarantine might be extended. I need to know so I can prepare for reopening. It is stressful.
Yesterday I ventured out and went to a flower nursery. I got a carnivorous pitcher plant that I have named Seymour. I’m naming plants now. This is not a good sign.
I took a break from sewing today because my wrist is pretty sore from overuse. I did play a little piano and I’m typing now, but other than that I’ve been pretty lazy today. Will go to work tomorrow to try and prepare for reopening.
April 27, 2020
My cat is sitting in my lap as I type this, giving me the stink eye for disturbing his nap. I went to work today, but it was another pretty uneventful day. One interesting thing that happened is we found a bee swarm in a fence post. I called the beekeeper who has been teaching me, and while he was on his way, the swarm flew away! It was really weird to see thousands of bees flying away. I went back to the flower nursery and got another pitcher plant. There are several varieties there, I have a feeling I won’t stop until I get them all.
We are still waiting to figure out when we can open and what reopening will look like. I am ready for normal and really ready to make some money, but I don’t want it to happen before it should. They say the governor will make a statement tomorrow. We need to cut grass, fix the roads after a hard rain, make sure we have inventory in the stores.
April 28, 2020
Well, the Governor made her statement today. Retail businesses, non-elective medical procedures and beaches can resume business. We are still under a stay at home order for nonessential stuff. So the park will remain closed until May 15. I wish we could open but we are a state museum and I don’t think it would be right to go against the governor’s order.
I went in to work today and I was taught how to drive a tractor. I had never tried before and I’ve never driven a stick shift car before, so it was scary. I didn’t like it at all, but I felt like I needed to at least know how it works. Then, a coworker brought her son out to play on the playground and it was a really fun day.
I am currently listening to a book on tape called Dragons of Eden by Carl Sagan. It is absolutely fascinating. Still watching reruns of the Office, Will and Grace, Curb Your Enthusiasm… I really like to just watch things I’ve already seen that make me laugh. Podcasts I’m enjoying are Box of Oddities, the Paranormal Podcast, Bishop Barron’s Word on Fire, and Office Ladies. I’ve had to take a break from sewing masks because of my stupid wrist.
I was thinking about my coworker’s son today, and how a kid around age 3 might be handling all this quarantine craziness. His mom is spending lots of time with him, he’s getting to go to work with her and have the playground all to himself. He gets to sit on the tractor and play with his mom’s coworkers. I’m hoping that I can see the world more like a kid might. Finding fun and happiness in simple things is important.
May 1, 2020
Happy Beltane! I love this day. The days are longer, everything is blooming, bees are buzzing. I went to work today to do some paperwork, then rode my bike to check in on the fields being plowed, the new addition to our activity barn being worked on, gardeners in the kitchen garden and native plant garden, I fed the farm animals and all the reptiles.
Some restrictions have been lifted but I still don’t want to be anywhere that is too crowded. So I went to a little vintage shop that is by appointment only. I also got a few things at Harbor Freight Tools and Rural King.
One of my favorite shows, parks and Recreation, did a special episode to raise money to help with the COVID-19 efforts. I love it, its’ so funny.
Here’s a funny story… I listen to a podcast called Box of Oddities. The Facebook group was talking about pica, which is the urge to eat non-edible things. I responded that some people in the Deep South eat dirt and that you can actually buy it at some convenience stores. The comments were hilarious! Someone said maybe they are really using the dirt for fish bait. Someone else asked what flavors of dirt they sell. Others just flat out didn’t believe me. So, I sent a friend to a convenience store that carries it to take a picture. So the hosts of the podcasts responded to an email I sent them about the whole thing and now they might do an episode about this!
May 2, 2020
After all the biking yesterday, I slept like a rock last night. I’ve been pretty lazy all day. I should be cleaning or sewing or being productive but I’m just sitting here watching Seinfeld reruns. Today was supposed to be our annual Touch A Truck event at the park. This event only lasts about 3 hours but in the past has netted $10,000 for the park. It’s a huge blow to both our budgets and our morale to have to cancel so many events. But there is nothing we can do about it I guess.
I am a member of the Gulf Coast chapter of the American Harp Society and we had a meeting scheduled for today. Instead of canceling we did it via Zoom, which was actually good for me because the meetings are held in Mobile. We are trying to plan out workshops and performances but there are so many issues right now. A fellow member is a flutist in the Mobile Symphony and she has recently purchased some kind of guard for her flute so her air stays with the flute instead of going into the air around her. Another symphony in Europe recently got together for a virtual concert and they all had on masks with holes cut out just big enough to fit the mouthpieces of their instruments. So many workshops and classes are now being offered online, which is not as fun as being there in person but I’m able to participate in a lot more than if I had to travel for them.
After our Zoom meeting I headed outside with a pillow and quilt and took a nap outside in my hammock. I could see the sun rays through the leaves, hear the birds chirping, I fell asleep just for a little while but woke up so refreshed. Sometimes I need to listen to the trees and it makes me feel better.
May 4, 2020
May the Fourth Be With You! Today is usually Star Wars Day, followed by tomorrow’s Cinco De Mayo. Usually I’d be out eating nachos and drinking margaritas today or tomorrow…. But not this year of course.
I haven’t talked much about my depression and anxiety issues in this journal, although I’m sure anxiety is pretty apparent. Yesterday was not a good day. My depression manifests in a strange way. I don’t know what is bothering me, I tend to repress it to the point of not even acknowledging it’s there. That works for a while, but then I have panic attacks over nothing. Well, that happened yesterday. I went to Wal Mart, early and in a mask. I was driving home and I stopped to move a turtle out of the road in my neighborhood. It was already dead. It wasn’t mangled or gory or anything, just dead. But for some reason, that was enough to put me right over the edge. Fortunately, I was already at my house so I just had to pull into the driveway. Everything was spinning, I thought I might throw up or pass out. I couldn’t breathe, but not in a wheezy, asthma way. I couldn’t catch my breath. I ran inside and took a pill that tends to calm me down. It worked, but I was so tired for the rest of the day and my mom wanted me to come over and help her with something but I didn’t want to drive after taking that pill. She was very worried about me, and wanted me to tell her why I was having such a bad day. But I couldn’t tell her, because I don’t really know. It could be a combination of factors, it could be unregulated anxiety, it could just be a chemical imbalance.
I listened to an online concert by my Native American flute teacher and his wife. She played something called the “Angel Harp,” which looked like an autoharp with the buttons missing. He told me it was tuned to a different key than an autoharp. I think it’s pentatonic. I have several autoharps and zithers. I may try to tune one that way to see what it sounds like when I play it.
Today was much better. I got up early and loaded up a cooler, snacks and garden tools and my staff at the park met me to work on clearing out a section of the park. Years ago, raised beds were put in for a community garden. For one reason or another, the project was abandoned and the weeds grew so tall you couldn’t even see the beds anymore. We got out there and cleared, cut, raked and pulled. It looks awesome now. We’re going to convert it into a dye garden and maybe a medicinal herb garden. If we keep it cut and neat, it would make a nice walking path. I played my iPod on shuffle and the younger staff members were laughing at my taste in music. It would go from Bob Dylan to Lady Gaga to Celtic Harp to Musical soundtracks.
After I left the park I went to my mom's to help her move some garden pots around and then we drove out to a farm in Malvern to get some fresh vegetables. When I got home, I noticed one of my hens was in the nesting box, panting very hard. I gave her some water, which she did drink, but she wouldn’t get out of the box. Hours went by, and she continued to pant. When she finally got down, instead of an egg, a membrane came out of her. It was leathery and rubbery, like the membrane around a soft-shell egg, but no egg. I was a little worried that an egg might have broken in her, so into the house she came for a bath. This particular hen has always wanted to come in the house. She loved her bath. Then I wrapped her in a towel and held her in my lap on the sofa until she dried off. My cat came up to investigate and decided to join the cuddle puddle. It may have been the first and only cuddle puddle of a hen, a human and a cat.
I’m working on a memory book for my priest, Father Gallagher, at St. Columba. He is about to celebrate 50 years in the priesthood and also is retiring soon, so people are sending well wishes and happy memories and photos. He is such a nice man and I am going to miss him. Sister Miriam Fidducia, the pastoral assistant, is also leaving soon. I hate to see those two people go. I’m not the most devout catholic but I sure do love and respect them.
Not planning to go to the office tomorrow. I have some grants to work on so I’ll be writing from home. I’m also taking an online herbalism class so I’ll catch up on some of that. I’m almost finished reading Dragons of Eden which is now one of my favorite books ever. Absolutely fascinating. I also read a retrospective on Riot Grrrrls, a 90s trend that I was very in to. Still enjoying reruns of Seinfeld, Will and Grace, Curb Your Enthusiasm and other funny shows. Stuff I can have on in the background while I sew or do other things.
May 5, 2020
Not much to report today. I worked from home, writing some grants to hopefully help make up for some lost income during this closure. Then I worked on the little memory book for Father Gallagher. Did a few things outside and it was so hot, I decided to blow up my inflatable pool and get in it for the first time this year. But that’s about it today. I’ll go in to work tomorrow. We’re going to work on the community garden some more and then I’m meeting the beekeepers.
May 6, 2020
Another day of lots of outdoor time. Started at the park and worked in the raised garden bed area until about noon, then worked with beekeepers. After I left, I brought some eggs to a neighbor and some fresh greens to my mom. Came home, got in my inflatable pool and listened to a podcast. I got a lot done today but also had fun. Hopefully I’ll sleep well tonight. Not much to report again today, except that people really want the park to reopen. They are being very supportive, they’re not mad or anything. They just miss coming to the park.
May 7, 2020
I worked from home today, finished up a bit of paperwork. Not the most exciting day. But a few strange things happened. First, someone online created a very odd video claiming that COVID-19 was lab created and Bill Gates owns the patent on the virus and it's all a big conspiracy…. To do what exactly, I don’t know. Personally, I think it’s very possible that we are being overly cautious about all this, but I’d rather do that and live than the alternative. I think people are just mad that they can’t do whatever they want so they’re lashing out. Let them lick a doorknob if they’re so certain. I was so ready to log off social media for good today. These Facebook doctors/lawyers/ experts are just too much.
So after getting frustrated with technology I went outside to play with my hens and found that one of them has gone broody. It’s something to do with her hormones that make her want to sit on eggs and hatch chicks. Since I don’t have a rooster, that can’t happen. I had to pick her up and make her get off the nest several times today. She squawked like a dinosaur every time and tried to peck at me. It’s ironic to me that she’s gone broody right before Mother's Day. Honestly, I get a little broody sometimes too but like my sweet hen, it’s just not in the cards for us.
My friend Melanie and I had a few beers in her back yard today. We both just needed to vent. The weather was nice and we didn’t get to close to each other. Tomorrow I’m planning to go to the park for a while. A week from tomorrow we should know if we can reopen. Not sure exactly what I’m hoping will happen. Of course I want to open but I don’t want to put the public in any danger.
May 8, 2020
So today, the governor made an announcement and said that on Monday, restaurants, bars, gyms, salons and churches can resume. But, museums are now closed until May 22. As the state museum of agriculture, I feel like I have to abide by what she wants instead of stretching the rules and maybe opening just the grounds. I have never, in my working life, not worked for this long. Since at 15 I either worked or was in school or both. I’m still going into work of course, but it’s not the same.
I woke up with a migraine today but I was determined to go in. I had a lot to do and much of it was fun. When I arrived, I went to the farm and found all our chickens dead. They had been attacked by something. I was disgusted, sad and furious. The guy who was supposed to be feeding the farm animals through I had taken care of it since I’d been coming in so much. I thought he had put them up for the night. So it turned out no one put them up for the night and now they’re all dead. I snapped at the guy, just because I was upset. It really wasn’t his fault. So I had to apologize later and he did accept it so it’s all good. I just hate losing my cool like that.
The rest of the day was pretty good. We almost finished the community garden and the next step will be getting the water and power hooked up so it can be functional. I really enjoy working with my staff. We all had lunch together then back to the office for me to do some paperwork. I rode my bike again instead of driving around the park. The blacksmith came and filmed a couple of instructional videos for me to post on social media. I fed all the snakes, gave one of this his shot.
My hen is still broody but she is eating and pooping so I’m just going to give her time. Tomorrow I’ll go back to the park to film a spot for Two Egg TV.
May 9, 2020
Busy and good day today. It was pretty chilly outside for some reason. Some places up north had snow! My mom and I went to the park and I was interviewed for a tv show on Two Egg TV. Then we walked the boardwalk and nature trail and I gathered some elder flower to dry in my dehydrator. I got my broody hen out a few times and made her walk around. She flung herself into a dirt bath and screamed like she was an extra from Jurassic Park. Did a little sewing, cleaned up some. Nothing very exciting but it was a good day. I tried to watch a horror movie that I’d been wanting to see, but I think there is just too much angst in the real world for that. So I turned it off and watched Seinfeld reruns instead. Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and my mom has requested the exact same meal I cooked for Easter. So. Mjudrah with homemade pita, but this time I’m going to make Honeycake instead of cobbler.
May 10, 2020
Today was Mother’s Day, so I got up early and cooked the Mjudrah and pita. My oven hasn’t been working, and I’ve been using my toaster oven since it’s just me usually, but the toaster oven wasn’t big enough for the cake pan. So, I lit some charcoal and baked the cake in my dutch oven outside with charcoal instead of electricity. It came out perfect. This makes me feel good, in case we ever have to go without electricity for some reason I can feed us. Mother’s Day is a little difficult for me sometimes. I couldn’t have kids and due to some health problems I had a hysterectomy at a relatively young age. Shortly after that happened, my husband left. I’m also adopted so I’ve never met my birthmother. My brother never pays my mom the attention she wants on days like this, so it’s a loaded holiday. Honestly, I can’t carry the load by myself forever. But for now, I’ll do what I can. After mom left I filled up my pool and listened to a podcast about the making of the show Seinfeld while basking in the sun in my pool. It was so relaxing I almost fell asleep. My broody girl got out and about on her own some today. While she was out a squirrel got stuck in the chicken coop which was pretty funny. I need to work on the scrapbook for Father Gallagher tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll go to the park for a while I need to do a deposit and put some thought into what I’m going to do about our summer activities. I’m assuming we may be able to open again but may not be able to have events that draw big crowds. It’s so hard to know what to do and what’s going to happen.
May 14, 2020
It has been a few days since I’ve written. Not much has happened, just been working every day. I harvested some evening primrose and dried it for later use. I had to fix the pig’s waterer in the blazing sun the other day. While his water bowl was on the ground, unhooked from his automatic waterer, he got mad and picked it up and carried it around his pen. Pretty funny. I’ve had lots of Zoom meetings, worked on grants, had meetings with my staff to prepare for reopening. We still don’t know if we can open on May 22, but that’s what we are hoping. We have canceled June summer camps and moved all the registered kids in to July summer camps. Again, wishful thinking that we’ll be able to do them. I just don’t know what to expect and it’s very frustrating.
My hen is still broody but she’s getting out and walking around so that’s good. I’m thinking of building a clothesline in my backyard. Would also like to have some grapevines. I wish I had more land. Not a lot of land, just a little more so I could do some stuff.
Had a very strange text conversation with a man the other night. I have not had 2-hour, night conversation with a man in years. It didn’t mean anything, was just nice to have some male insight again into a few things. After my divorce and a series of ridiculous dating experiences I tend to be very anxious when it comes to men. But texting felt safe so it was nice.
I worked the bees the other day and my teacher is letting me do more and more when it comes to opening the hives and checking out the frames. I got my first sting yesterday, a bee somehow got inside my hat and veil and stung me on my scalp. Fortunately I didn’t have any kind of reaction.
Will probably go in again tomorrow and work on some paperwork for upcoming grants and I need to feed the snakes and give the big snake his shot. Will possibly meet with an Eagle Scout and his dad about a potential project tomorrow afternoon. Sunday I have to go in a sundown and meet a wildlife remover to see about getting rid of some bats that have taken up residence inside one of our buildings. Never a dull moment for sure.
May 17, 2020
Still more of the same… went to work Friday, met with a Boy Scout and his dad about a possible Eagle Scout project. Fed snakes, took care of misc. paperwork. I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts, I stayed up late to listen to one about Alabama called S-Town. Then started another called Serial and finished the whole first season in about one day. I listen to them when I’m cleaning house, sewing, whatever. Now I’m listening to Southern Fried True Crime.
I did have to get a little mad at some of my staff the other day. They’ve been off for 2 months, coming in just periodically or being “on call” but they’re still getting their full paychecks thanks to a Payroll Protection Program through the federal government. I had talked with them just a day earlier about some tasks that needed to be done and they sort of half-assed their way through them. Really mad me mad, so I got mad and this time I did NOT go back and apologize. My staff is awesome and I love them, but I do expect to be respected.
Today, I cleaned the house from top to bottom, then sat in my inflatable pool for a while. That is so relaxing. Hen is still broody. Yesterday, mom and I went to Hartford to visit some local produce stands and tonight I will cook us an all-vegetable dinner. Squash fritters, roasted okra, fried green tomatoes, I have some new potatoes I’ll probably cook, and I have rutabaga but I’ve never cooked those so I don’t really know what to do with them.
I had a little guitar epiphany the other night at about 2 a.m. I recently got a chord buddy, which is a little device invented by a local guy that helps you learn your chords. I’ve had no luck with it in the past, but the other night I was feeling it so I played around and now I'm happy to say I can jam with those four chords. Not really a huge feat, but it is for me. You don’t know how frustrating it is to be a classically trained musician but not be able to play such a common instrument. I took the guitar outside to see if my hens would like it but they totally ignored me. I’m planning a few more “experiments” to see how animals respond to music. So far, Lilith the dog and Lestat the cat love the harp. Lilith seems a bit afraid of the organ but that may just be because its new and she can’t really see anymore. She used to try to get the guitar to play with her. She’d bow to it with her tail wagging. I guess it looked like a creature.
My friend and former coworker came by today and she put lights in my bottle tree. She didn’t come in, she is older than me and is afraid of catching COVID. She and I used to go to the movies almost every weekend. I haven’t seen her since February except for one supply drop-off. I’ve also not seen my best friend of over 30 years since New Year's Eve. My musician friends and I have been apart since December. I don’t really feel lonely, as I talk to people all the time, see my mom a lot, and do go into work. But I miss my friends and I miss our routines. We’ve missed out on so many things. I feel guilty for being upset by this, no one has died, no one close to me has caught it, I know we are so very lucky. But it took me a long time to rebuild my life into something nice after the death of my father, loss of a dream job, hysterectomy, divorce, abusive dating situation that all happened in a 6-month time frame about four years ago. I hate to see it all go down the drain. Back then, I truly never thought I would feel happiness again.
Next Friday is May 22, and that’s the date we last heard that we could reopen. But I’m not sure that we will be able to. The numbers are not going down, instead, they’re going up in some places probably because of the reopening. I don’t want my staff to be in danger, I don’t want our visitors to be in danger, I don’t want us to stay closed and continue to lose money…. Once again, I am so thankful someone else is making these decisions. Lives are more important than the economy, of course. But I also see the merits of not being overly cautious and hurting the economy for no reason. A bad economy could affect lives and can lead to loss of lives. As a tree hugging, bleeding heart liberal, I believe the system is broken. But that’s a discussion for another day.
May 18, 2020
I am filled with so much anxiety of what’s to come. We can’t stay closed for ever but we can’t reopen if it’s not safe. I just don’t know how to plan for the future. I took an extra anti-anxiety pill tonight, I’ve got to get some sleep.
I went to work today, got the usual done. I’m struggling with the newsletter because I don’t know how to plan for the summer so instead of working I’m just avoiding it altogether. But tomorrow I’ve got to suck it up and get it done.
I’m listening to the podcast The Office Ladies now. I’ve been working on masks this evening. Earlier today I went to rural king to get some supplies for my chicken coop. I want to completely clean it out and see if a change of scenery will break broody and maybe get the others to start laying eggs again. I can’t understand why they’re not laying. They’re only on their second summer.
One of my staff asked me if I was upset with her about something and no, I’m not upset with her, I’m just stressed and honestly I don’t feel well. Nothing COVID related, I just get migraines sometimes and my head has been killing me. It makes me sick to my stomach when it hurts so bad, and it hurts to lie down so I don’t sleep well when this happens.
I heard today that another music camp I was hoping to attend, Lark Camp in Mendocino, California, has canceled for this year. I totally get it of course, but it’s sad. I had so much fun in Asheville last year and I was hoping to either go back there or go to California this year. I was also planning to go to a reenactment in Wetumpka this fall, I’m wondering if it will be closed too. Also a Renaissance Fair in September… I don’t know what’s going to happen. But if those are canceled that means even more fundraisers for the park would be canceled too and that would be awful.
May 19, 2020
I’m going to do something different today. I’m going to talk about all the good things that this closure has brought. I don’t mean to be a Pollyanna about this, but I do need to acknowledge that not everything is terrible.
1—Musician friends are posting concerts, classes, workshops online. I’m able to participate in much more than I would ordinarily. For example, I got to take some workshops from the Edinburgh Harp Festival in Scotland online. The Indigo Girls have done several online concerts, I took an online Native American Flute Class, former teachers are posting songs of the day or other concerts and they live all over the world.
2— I’ve had time to complete several projects. I’ve always wanted to learn about beekeeping and I’ve had time to apprentice. Worked on an online herbalism class. At work we did lots of cleaning out, reworked the community garden area, ag museum exhibit. Caught up on shows and movies that I’d been wanting to see.
3— Got really into podcasts. Learned a lot of stuff, found several that made me laugh
4— Realized how much I need my friends and my family. I’m still somewhat reclusive, but I like to spend time with people I love.
5— A slower schedule gave me time to relax and try to get my anxiety under control, rest when needed, eat healthy home cooked food
6— Spent LOTS of time outside, both at home and at work. Work with my garden, chickens, bees, soak in my blowup pool
7— Practice guitar. Actually made some progress for once
8— Sewed lots of masks to try and be helpful to those in need
9— I’ve enjoyed keeping this journal. I feel like Captain Kirk on Star Trek
I am so hopeful that this great pause resets the system to make it better for everyone. I’m not sure this will happen, but I’m hopeful.
May 22, 2020
I didn’t write yesterday, but I’d like to note that one of my employees brought her son to the park at the end of the day to play on “his” playground. He also wanted to walk the boardwalk and feed the turtles, feed the farm animals, dance while I played guitar, see the bunny and give her carrots. It was really fun and nice. I don’t have kids so I enjoy seeing my friend’s kids.
Well yesterday the governor gave word that we could reopen on Saturday! So today, many of the staff came in to clean up and get everything ready for reopening. And the most wonderful thing happened. We have all been coming in to work, but at different times so we didn’t have too many people in one place at one time (social distancing). So many of us had not seen each other in almost two months. There were hugs (even though we weren’t supposed to), tears, little gifts and trinkets we’d picked up for each other here and there, stories to catch up on, and excitement about the tasks that needed to be done. People were offering to do different things to help, no one said “that’s not my job” or complained when I asked them to do things that I knew they didn’t really want to do. To be fair, I was also doing things I didn’t really want to do. The point is, none of that mattered. We were a united team who cared and respected each other, all working together toward a common goal. That attitude spills over into our dealings with visitors which is even better. For better or worse, I am proud of this. I have worked hard to foster this environment and sometimes it’s not easy. I guess this should sort of be my last entry since life returns to “normal” tomorrow. But I think I’ll keep making notes because who knows what our new normal will look like? Right now, our plan is to be open to the public. We’ll keep the planetarium closed because it’s too close for social distancing. The drugstore will serve ice cream but we will ask people to eat outside. We have moved all summer camps and most public programming to July. June will just be open for people enjoy the park. I read yesterday that the CDC is recommending no field trips of any kind for the next school year. While yes, this freaks me out, we are working to digitize our programs so maybe we can still be able to offer programs remotely. The Boy Scouts are already requesting that we do this for some of their merit badge programs. We’re going to make it work. I’m scared, but cautiously hopeful.
1 Ms. Staklum is the Executive Director of Dothan Landmarks Foundation, Inc., operator of Dothan Landmark Park and the Alabama Museum of Agriculture.